Most of my life I have felt like the “woman with the issue of blood.” I have likened myself to her story, known by my ailment. As a child, I had teachers and friends who knew of my “health issues” and excused me from class. As I got older, co-workers knew of my “health issues” and excused me from missing work. When I met my soon-to-be husband, he learned about my “health issues” and experienced events that I would miss out on. We pursued ministry together and found ourselves with enormous circles of new people who learned of my “health issues” and the news spread even farther. When I became pregnant, there were overwhelming “health issues” that arose and marked precious moments with chaos. After becoming a mom, my “health issues” seemed to spiral and I entered into a world of survival, experiencing one “health issue” after another. I experienced pain, random chronic “health issues”, fear, uncertainty, doubt, enormous medical debt, doctors appointments that seemed never-ending and (as I write this) I am left with no concrete answers for my “issues”. I would often tell people “if it’s possible, it will probably happen to me.” I was always the exception or the very rare case with the very rare symptom or side effect. Where I am sitting right now in this moment, there are 5 random “issues” I am working through. I just hung up the phone making another appointment with another specialist, just took my supplements and planned my meals for the day considering my diet restrictions.

But, weaved throughout all of these big moments in life, marked by “health issues”, there has been an undercurrent of faith. I am fully aware of the miraculous blessings He has given me. I know He has been with me every step of the way. I am blessed with a beautiful family, the most perfect gifts in my children, a loving dream of a husband, friends and family that love me, a job that fulfills me and a wonderful life! Amidst all the trials, I have faith that it’s God’s will that I am healed. I fully believe, as a child of God, that my Father has a purpose for this pain and a plan to FULLY heal me. I have always known there would be a moment that changes everything. I have always believed He will get the glory.

Who am I to deserve this kind of love? I have often wrestled with the thought that “God was supposed to heal me, but He hasn’t.” If I am being really transparent, I knew He could do it, but I was still left sick. One thing after another. One “issue” to the next. My close friends and family have often heard me say “It’s always something. I’m so sick of being sick.”

I was up and down, tossed back and forth, in a sea of my own emotions. Fully expecting that God could heal me, that it was His will for my life, but not seeing the fruit of that seed He planted in my heart. I still haven’t seen the fruit. But, I believe wholeheartedly that it’s time I believe with CERTAIN faith that I will see it happen. My children will see it happen. My family will see it happen. My friends and circles of people will see it happen. A group of people who have always known that I’ve had “health issues” would see God’s miraculous love lavished on me as a reason to turn to Jesus. My prayer is that the healing I so deeply desire would be the pathway for people to run after a God who would go to the ends of the earth to show us His love.

Now, let me tell you a different story. This is the Biblical account of the “woman with the issue of blood” from Luke 8:43-48.

“Now there was a woman who had been suffering from an issue of blood for twelve years and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind Jesus and touched the fringe of his clothe and immediately her issue stopped. Then Jesus asked, “Who touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master the crowds surround you and press in on you.” But, Jesus said “Someone touched me; for I noticed that power had gone out from me.” When the woman saw that she could not remain hidden, she came trembling and falling down before him. She declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him and how she had been immediately healed. Jesus said to her, “daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace.”

Sound familiar? It sure does to me. Honestly, brings tears to my eyes as I read it. I recently had a conversation where I humbly weeped and said “but, I know I have touched his garment already…..I just don’t understand.” But, today I believe I heard from Jesus “Who touched me?” and a reminder that I shouldn’t remain hidden. I will declare in the presence of all the people why I am striving to touch Jesus everyday. I will keep asking, keep seeking, keep believing that He will heal me. I can’t wait for that moment!

Ephesians 1:1-14 is the Scripture that I am standing on and want to encourage you with:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realmswith every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”

Be blessed and remember that no enemy can hold you down. He has the full authority, He gets the glory. And, the God of the universe has His sights set on you.